I need to go back to my aunt and uncle (the two that had 17 children, you know, my favorites). I have an image of my aunt sitting in an upholstered rocking chair, feeding and rocking a baby much of the time. Obviously, she did other things, too. But she ended up sitting in that chair many times throughout a day. From that chair, she could direct what was going on around her with her voice. It was multi-tasking before multi-tasking had a name. They also bought in bulk when it wasn't popular and used cloth diapers (cuz there weren't any Huggies back in those days!) If a child needed redirection, she could do it from the chair. If a child had a problem, she could talk them through it from the chair. If she couldn't talk them through it, there was usually an older child she could direct to help the younger child. If there was a chore that needed to be done, she could give the directions to a child who was capable from that chair. Sometimes a child just needed to come and hang out by her at the chair for a bit, while she nursed the baby. That was okay, too.
As I said, watching the dynamics of this family, and especially this mother with her children had a profound impact on my life, growing up. I learned by watching, before I knew the principle, that you must teach children in your care to respond to your voice and to your words. It is one of the first things I check for when I get a new group of preschoolers in my class, or even when a new one comes in mid-year. When I am multi-tasking with a group of children, I need to be able to speak to a child, even if it's across a room or a playground, have that child stop, look at me and respond appropriately to what I am saying or asking. This training is essential for peacefulness, order and safety. When we do a disaster drill, I call my children's names. one at a time and have them answer "Here". That's for safety. That's part of never leaving a child behind. If I need them to put the block down before they whack their friend over the head with it, I need them to respond to their name and to the word "Stop!" I find that many of my 3 and 4 year olds are not trained to do this when they come to me. Why? Because many parents don't realize the importance of beginning that training soon after their child learns to walk. If I call your name, you stop and look at me. You listen to what I am going to tell you. If I say "Come here", you come here. You don't know why. I could have a treat for you. I could need to give you some correction. I could need to save you from danger. The reason doesn't matter. When you're training a child to do that, you have to go get them if they don't come. One or two attempts is sufficient to see if they're going to respond. Then you move and bring them to you. This signals their brains, "Oh, she meant come here. If I don't do that, she's gonna come get me. I think I'd rather motor myself than be motored by the tall people!" Telling the child ten times and not moving gives another message, entirely. Can you guess what it is? Telling the child over and over, raising your voice and then letting them carry on with what they were doing or not doing absolutely lets them know they are in charge, and that, my friends, is a dangerous path for everyone to travel. You should see the look of surprise on the faces of my kids in preschool when that learned routine comes to an abrupt halt in my classroom!
Back to leaving a child behind and my favorite large family of relatives. When they traveled by car, there was a roll call taken. Names were called out by mom or dad. Children responded to their names. Older children responded for the children who could not yet talk. Once I was with them when they had about 6 or 7 kids. We were driving to a ribbon cutting ceremony at which my uncle was to preside. Roll call began. Oldest to youngest. No response to the baby's name. Once. Twice. The station wagon was turned around and the baby was retrieved from the crib at home! Don't worry. Baby was asleep, not crying, not terrified, and response time was quick.
Fast forward about 30 years. I am homeschooling my four children, ages 10 down to 5 and doing child care for two sisters, ages 3 and infant. You guessed it. We load up to go to Wood River for piano lessons for the oldest three kids. Everybody in, buckled, car seated. Up Hickory Hill Lane we go, on to Glen Carbon Road. Roll call. Five children answer. No one answers for the baby. Once. Twice. I turn the station wagon around and head back the mile we had traveled. She is bundled up appropriately, strapped in correctly, on our covered front porch in her baby car seat. Temperature was about 45 degrees. We were gone two minutes, maybe less. I was horrified. Older children were horrified. I got her securely strapped in the car and we made it to the lessons (during which I shopped with the three youngest at Shop 'n Save in Wood River. It was always Senior's double coupon day. Did I say patience????)
Parents, teachers, caregivers, teach your children to respond to your voice and Never leave a child behind. If you do, go back for them as quickly as you can and thank the Lord for the angels he places around the little ones we love!
Congratulations on starting your blog! You're off and running!!
ReplyDeleteYou have some great advice here for child caregivers. I look forward to more installments.